


Warm As Frozen Fire

by pikablob



Category: Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types, Eberron
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Church of the Silver Flame, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Introspection, Memories, Minor Character Death, No Sex, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24411016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikablob/pseuds/pikablob
Summary: A year after abandoning her role as the Keeper and escaping the Church of the Silver Flame, Jaela Daran looks back on her time there.





	Warm As Frozen Fire

It was getting on towards the small hours. The fire crackled gently, casting its flickering light across the small wood-panelled living room. The hum of quiet conversation echoed, merry laughter spilling across the threshold from the kitchen. Huddled on the couch under a thick wool blanket, Jaela smiled contentedly.

Her eyelids felt heavy, and part of her wanted to just fall asleep there and then. But she was determined to stay up to enjoy the festivities. Besides; with all the talk of the church in the news recently she wasn’t sleeping as easily as usual. It had opened old wounds, and a small part of her was now wary of sleeping.

Hearing the news of Krozen’s assassination had felt strange in a way she didn’t quite know how to express. She certainly didn’t feel bad for him, or sad that he was gone; that wasn’t the problem. While some part of her was definitely relieved he was no longer around, another part of her felt guilty for feeling like that and she couldn’t be sure if that was her conscience or her church indoctrination speaking.

Even after a year she was still trying to unlearn many of the things she had been taught there. She had been only six when they first ‘chose’ her, and she had spent most of her time there in lesson after lesson. They had talked time and time again about how she was but a vessel for the Flame, and whatever it required she was instructed to give readily.

She hadn’t learned the true meaning of that until Krozen had come into her chamber one night. She had cried afterwards, quietly and to herself, but the church demanded she never cry and after the third or fourth time she had given up. She had grown numb to it, lying in silence. She wondered if any of her tutors had known; she wasn’t sure if they had they would have cared.

They had gone on about the warmth of the Silver Flame. But even standing right beside the great brazier all she could feel was cold, and everything built in the church’s name shared that chill. The old stone floors were cold underfoot; the great empty halls were full of cold air; her vast personal chambers were freezing even with the hearth lit.

And it wasn’t just the buildings; the cardinals and paladins all looked at her with icy glares, nuisance at best and burden at worst. Their words had been all frigid barbs and unfeeling decrees, spoken without care for her or any of their inferiors. But she would take all of that over Krozen. 

Whenever it passed over her, his gaze was filled with a cold, impersonal hunger. When he visited her chambers he brought a draught in with him, and his words were bitter-cold demands. His hands were cold too, taking whatever they wanted without care for how she cried…

She realised she was shivering. She shifted under the woollen blanket, scooting closer to the hearth, and took a deep breath. It helped to ground her, back to where she was rather than where she had been.

The little hearthfire in this room gave off more warmth than the great Silver Flame ever had. The thick rugs on the floor kept in the heat, and every room swelled with comforting warmth. It was in her family too; in the jovial laughter from the other room, in loving looks and forehead kisses, in the care they took over her past and the support they offered for her future.

She felt the ghost of a smile come upon her as she thought about her life here. Those four awful years in the church would linger over her for a long time yet, she knew that, but now they were behind her. She was here, she was safe, and she was warm.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Skaravojen doesn't exist I guess? And I have no idea who she's living with in this but meh


End file.
